I'm lost and stupid without you.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
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