Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
