no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
