Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
