Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize