How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
