I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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