If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
