We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
