Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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