Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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