she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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