from now on my penis is your penis
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I know her cup size but not her name....
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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