So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
