He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Randomize
