based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
apparently the secret to your success is patron
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
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I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
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I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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