Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
