everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
