he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
