just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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