i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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