I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
it's great music for shaving your balls
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
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