During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
So squirting runs in the family.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
