we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize