go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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