so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
