Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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