The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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