This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
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