I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
