Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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