he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
