He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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