That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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