I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize