friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
