So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
