Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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