dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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