Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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