I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize