i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
