I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
