I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
