You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
