hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I will pee on everything he values.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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