what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
