it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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