I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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