i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Another day, another engagement, another cat
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
