so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
