honey bunches of taint.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
the raccoons are back...
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