Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Too much gin, very little bucket
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
