shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
