Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
