they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
