Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
