U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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