can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize