have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
