I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
