i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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