everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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