In the future we'll all be gay
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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