I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
