ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
