is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
